Rodent Regatta

HP was once known for quality and over-engineered products. This category of entries documents what HP has become. You can catch up on the entire series by reading these:

• Atlas Did More Than Shrug
• First Do No Harm – Thus begins Volume 1
• Volume 2 of The Saga
• An Open Letter to Carly
• Volume 3 of The Saga
• HP Remains Clueless
• Volume 4 of The Saga
• Volume 5 of The Saga
• Volume 6 of The Saga

I couldn’t think about the laptop on 7-31-03. It was hot. The house had no electricity. I hadn’t slept well in days. I knew something was fouled up at HP regarding my laptop, but I couldn’t figure out what.

During my last two calls, I had asked both Theresa and Ryan if there was any way at all to ”keep them on the case.” Was there a way for me to reach them if I had any additional questions? Both assured me that they couldn’t personally take ownership of a customer’s problem.

By Friday, August 1, 2003, my curiosity was killing me. I decided to call at 11:40 a.m. Using HP’s ever-changing voice-activated menu system, I responded ”repair status” when told to do so by the voicebot. Jodie answered, asked for my CSO# and said she was transferring me to the Pavilion notebook repair department. I held for some horrible period of time.

Thomas answered the phone. He asked for my CSO#. He told me it would be 3 to 5 days before HP could arrange to pick up my computer. I kid you not! That’s what he said.

I went nuts. I explained when HP got my laptop and who signed for it. Thomas said he wasn’t sure that was correct. It wasn’t what his system showed. We argued. He asked for the FedEx airbill number in a way that made me think he thought I didn’t have it.

He went to FedEx’s web site, quoted to me what I had already told him and said, Wednesday will be the fifth business day from the time HP received my laptop so they were still within the promised service window. Thomas asked if there was anything else HP could do for me today. I assured him there wasn’t a thing more that HP could do for me.

I hung up the phone and decided to take a couple of days off. Eleven people at HP had checked ”the system.” Eleven phone calls had been placed. Two faxes had been sent. The laptop had been in HP’s hands for 48 hours. Clearly, they needed more time. A lot more!

You can see the other entries in this series by clicking on The HP Way. It’s the story of a laptop repair under warranty at HP. It’s not a pretty picture. When we left our last volume, we had faxed twice, called nine times and spoken to seven people, not including the FedEx driver who picked up my laptop on July 29th.

Wednesday, the 30th of July had me very busy until late in the day. I had been staying home for the prior two days waiting on HP to arrange for the pickup of my computer. By Wednesday, I had cabin fever and was needing to get out of the house. Some areas of Memphis had power. I sought and found food, air conditioning and a modicum of comfort.

By the evening I decided to use FedEx’s voice response system to track the shipment to HP. Sure enough, J. Rivera signed for the shipment at 9:03 a.m. on 7-30—03 in Milpitas, CA. I was relieved.

This went so well that I decided to use the 800# provided to me the prior night by Ryan. I called the number. After a lengthy hold, Alice seem really dismayed that I had called. She said she wasn’t authorized to open my CSO# which meant that the shipment had not arrived or there was a problem with it. She abruptly transferred my call to ”Pavilion support” as if I had violated a federal statute. (F2/C10/P8)

I was on hold forever. Alice returned to the call and said she was still on hold with Pavilion tech support. I sympathized and waited.

After another long hold, Theresa got on the phone. Theresa scolded me for not sending in my proof-of-purchase. She said she could help me, but I’d have to fax it to her. She said I couldn’t ship my computer until she, Theresa, had my fax in hand. I explained that HP already had two faxes and my computer and she nor anyone else at HP was getting anything more from me. She protested, so I referred her to FedEx’s web site and the FedEx airbill number.

Theresa then accused me of shipping my computer without authorization. She backed off when I asked her how I could have possibly guessed all the right address and shipping information. By now, I was hot – physically and emotionally.

She put me on hold for an enormous length of time. When she returned to the phone she assured me that the service was all set up and ready to go. She closed by saying, ”I’m sure they’ll find your laptop in Milpitas somewhere.”

My confidence sank, but with the score standing at F2/C10/P9, I caved. I went to bed in a hot house once more. Frustrated with the city government and the local utility company for having such poor preventative and disaster preparedness plans, I was now hopping mad at HP.

You’ll not believe how much madder I would have to get.

This category of entries is about my attempts to get HP to repair a laptop computer under warranty. Volume 5 of The Saga is about phone calls from me to HP on July 28 and July 29, 2003. Today is August 9, 2003 and I still do not have my laptop back. This mess began on July 26th.

After placing one fax, 8 phone calls and talking to five people I got Dan, my sixth contact at HP. Dan said my fax hadn’t been rejected and my proof-of-purchase was probably valid. The problem, as Dan saw it, was in the fact that ”HP is five to seven days behind in updating the information in the warranty system. Warranty information must pass through two departments before it can be entered into ’the system.’” I dared not ask about ’the system.’

I told Dan my story. He spoke great English, so I was at least communicating in something resembling a reliable way. Dan also felt my pain. He decided to try and help me. All I needed to do, Dan said, was fax my proof-of-purchase information to 604.702.0786 to the attention of Karrie. He was going to take care of the rest.

I briefly explained Memphis’s power problems and told him the fax would be sent to him within the hour from a Kinko’s. That fax was date-and-time-stamped within 30 minutes of my hanging up the phone with Dan. He assured me that he would personally see to it that the FedEx pickup would happen before noon on Tuesday, July 29, 2003.

Though the score was now F2/C8/P6, I thought progress was finally being made. Out of exhaustion from trying to sleep the prior night in a steaming hot house, I fell sound asleep.

I got up early on Tuesday the 29th so that I’d be ready for FedEx. They’re headquartered in Memphis and the service we get here is amazing. FedEx pioneered the notion that the only thing more important than the shipment is information about the shipment. I was looking forward to my laptop being in FedEx’s hands. I knew I could track it.

Tuesday was another hot day in Memphis. I was beginning my eighth day without electricity. The local utility was being accused of refusing help from neighboring utility companies in the reconnection efforts. Patience was running thin all around. Yet, I was feeling as if something semi-productive was happening by getting this nagging laptop problem resolved while still under warranty.

You guessed it. Noon came and went without a sign of FedEx. Debris littered Memphis streets, and virtually every intersection had to be handled as a 4-way stop. The pace slowed terribly. I decided to remain patient since FedEx might simply have been caught in the numerous traffic jams.

At 2:45 p.m. on 7-29-03 patience ran out, and I ran the score to F2/C9/P7. That’s two faxes, nine phone calls and seven people involved in four days of dealing with HP. I dialed the number. I held for 31 minutes.

Ryan, an English-speaking lad with a resolve to help people went into action. He listened carefully to my story. He editorialized, ”that stinks,” after hearing what I had been through. Reassuring me that he wasn’t going to drop the ball, he asked permission to put me on hold so that he could contact FedEx.

Ryan came back to my call and said FedEx would be at my doorstep between 3:30 p.m. and 6:30 p.m. He gave me an 800# to use from that point forward for tracking my laptop within HP’s service group. He said that I could check the status at each station in the HP repair process.

FedEx showed up as promised and the driver even knew part of my Saga. He verified all the information and took my laptop on its way leaving me with a copy of the FedEx airbill complete with tracking number. I was momentarily appeased. I finally left my house, went out for a nice dinner and returned home in a mood to endure the heat and the power outage a bit longer. MLG&W, the local utility, was promising power any day now for the tens of thousands of customers (think electric meters – not people) without power.

Appeasement wouldn’t last long! Remember, this is only Volume 5!!

Current Status: Today is Saturday. Though FedEx delivers on Saturday, I had no hope or expectation that HP might return my laptop today. Instead, it was time to place another call to HP. It went all the way to Bangalore, India and I was told by a woman who had deep difficulty speaking English that my laptop would be returned in 4 business days. By the time you’ve finished The Saga, you’ll realize just how unreliable that kind of information can be.

When I concluded Volume 3, I had gone to bed fuming. The power had been off since Tuesday morning, July 22. It was miserably hot, dark and amazingly quiet. None of that soothed my frustration with HP, a company I had once admired a great deal.

Monday, 7-28-03, was a bright new day. I still had no electricity. However, Brian had assured me that my laptop would be picked up by FedEx on Monday the 28th. It was packed and all paperwork, numbers and notations were where they were supposed to be.

I decided not to leave the laptop on the front porch, but instead, I stuck a note on the front door alerting HP to knock so that I could provide the shipment to them. With burglaries escalating so rapidly, I didn’t want to take any chances.
Positioning the box near the front door, sign in place, I sat down to read.

The heat was miserable. I read and I sat. My sister brought me some ice for a cooler. I drank a coke. I read and I sat. The day grew long. At 5:45 p.m. I placed another call to HP. I held for a long time. I got cut off. I redialed and held for 35 minutes.

Trebecca(sp?), a woman who shouldn’t even try to speak English without several more months of classes, finally picked up the phone. She glanced at a computer screen and said, ”your proof of purchase has been rejected. You must call 800.374.5828.”

I did. They couldn’t help me at all. I wasn’t even calling HP. I had been told to call a number that went to a firm that apparently sells extended warranties for HP. They were clueless as to how to help me, but seemed resigned to the fact that they had been getting lots and lots of calls exactly like mine.

Sheila said they had tried to tell HP that it wasn’t doing any good to have people trying to track their repair problems calling an extended warranty organization, but HP hadn’t been able to correct the problem.

Then, day became dusk and dusk became very, very dark. FedEx never stopped by.

For those of you keeping score at home, we’ve now faxed once (F1), placed six phone calls (C6) and talked to four people (P4). From now on we’ll keep score by indicating (F1/C6/P4).

With real determination after talking with that extended warranty firm, I called HP once again. I was frustrated because the laptop hadn’t been picked up. Now it seemed that something had apparently gone wrong with the fax I sent in.

Again, after dialing HP’s number, I held for almost 40 minutes. By the time Dan answered the phone, I was ready to be firm, factual and as unconcerned about HP’s internal messes as I could possibly be. This phone call took the score to F1/C7/P5. Dan was about to raise the score some more.

Paving the way for tomorrow’s continuation of The Saga, take a look at these two screen shots: #1 and #2. They illustrate what HP’s own systems are saying to their customer service people about the status of my laptop computer.

I have blocked out a couple of key pieces of information for security purposes, but I think you can tell from these screenshots that the laptop I sent to HP remains missing and they don’t even realize it.