Rodent Regatta

I recall as a college student being asked about my major. Replying that I was majoring in electrical engineering was (too) often met with one of two responses. Either I was asked whether or not I could repair some small appliance or I was asked whether or not I worked on televisions. Understand this was in the dark ages, but human nature hasn’t changed a great deal.

Now that I have a weblog, I’m asked whether or not I’m a web site developer. I’m not, but I’m learning. I’m learning, but I’m not going to learn it all by the end of the week!

Serving on jury duty, I report to the Criminal Justice Center in Memphis, TN. On one recent arrival I passed through the metal detector and set it off. I was asked to step aside so that they could use a wand.

As the guard ran the wand in front of my body and behind there was no tone or light from the device. I was told I could proceed.

Walking away I hear one guard say to another, ”I think it must need some new batteries.” The reply was, ”They’ll get us some next week.”

The keys, money clip, pens and cell phone in my pockets could so easily have been something else; and, I bet you thought we had tighter security!

Another long day in our Criminal Justice Center.

We’ll return with more on the rat race tomorrow!

Since July 22, 2003, Memphis has felt it’s inferiority complex returning. We couldn’t get the lights turned back on for two weeks – in July, in Memphis! This from the town that brought you strikes by garbage workers, James Earl Ray and Mud Island.

Now we’re seeing a mayor annoint himself king and a city council that resents it. This from a metro area that continues to have divided city and county governments. We have two mayors. We have two law enforcement groups. We have two court systems. We have two school systems. We have two sets of taxes.

We also have a coliseum, a pyramid and the FedEx Forum. This from an area with the highest personal bankruptcy rate in the nation.

A subpoena (yep, that’s what they called it) to jury duty took me to the coliseum today. I graduated from high school there, and it hasn’t changed much accept to age somewhat ungracefully. Out in the middle of the floor was a platform with a couple of folding tables on it. The judge’s name tag sat right in the middle of the table.

At 10:15a.m., the 8:00a.m. group still had its remnants out on the floor. I was not looking forward to what time my 11:00a.m. group might get to leave. At 11:10a.m. we got this proclaimation, ”I just checked out the front windows of the coliseum and I still see some cars lined up to turn in out there, so we’re going to wait a little while to give some more of the 11:00a.m. people an opportunity to arrive on time.” (I tell you, I can’t make this stuff up!)

One of the local jury commissioners grabbed the microphone about 15 minutes later, and had us stand as the judge walked to the center of the coliseum’s floor and climbed up on his makeshift bench. The judge proceeded to call us to order and make us swear to tell the truth, then said court was in session. (I guess the court is where the judge is.) He then lectured us about MLK, rights, voting and our responsibilities.

The roughly 1500 to 2000 people who had been invited were read the rules:

• the sheriff’s deputies milling around weren’t there to answer questions; they were there for security
• the most important aspect of the dress code is ”no shorts;” shorts are defined as ”anything you put on one leg at a time that doesn’t reach to your ankles” (I can’t make this up!)
• you’re disqualified from jury duty for being a habitual drunkard, of unsound mind or if you’ve been convicted of an infamous crime
• habitual drunkards are defined as those who carry their habit with them; producing a bottle would have gotten you out of jury duty today
• you’re exempt from jury duty if you’re over 70, in the National Guard, a full time student or you’ve served as a juror in the last 10 years
• three parking garages will offer you discount parking if you prove to them you’re there for jury duty; discount parking is $2.00 a day
• as one selected for jury duty you’ll be serving in circuit, chancery, criminal or probate court
• available dates for 1-week tours of (jury) duty were Feb. 16-20, Feb. 23-27, March 15-19, March 22-26

I’ll be serving on a State of Tennessee jury the week of March 15, 2004. By 2:00p.m. the jurors had left the building.

Thank you very much! I’m so proud!

TORNADO WATCH
Watch Issue Date: 700 AM CST TUE NOV 18 2003

...Western… Benton carroll chester crockett Decatur dyer fayette gibson hardeman hardin haywood henderson henry lake lauderdale mcnairy madison obion shelby tipton weakley

Hurricane Elvis – The Sequel

Here’s what July left behind.