Rodent Regatta

Mississippi State University’s long-time football coach is retiring at the end of this season. It is Larry Templeton’s job to select and interview a list of candidates for the position.

Before listing people, Templeton should make a list of the skills and character attributes he’s searching for. Here are a few tips:

• someone who understands the methods of bringing discipline into the lives and work habits of guys who are 18 to 22 years old
• someone who has the personality to attract talented athletes to a university
• someone who understands the game of college football in 2003
• someone who understands the business of college football in 2003
• someone who wants to build a program and not just a quick turnaround
• someone who understands how to represent a university in all areas of public life
• someone who has been a part of a team that wins and knows how to teach what it takes to win

At this point in the season, here’s my short list:

• anyone who wants to beat Tommy Tuberville in any way at any activity under any circumstances at any time
• Mike Leach
• Sylvester Croom
• Tommy Bowden
• Mike Stoops
• anybody Coach Sherrill would recommend

Here’s what doesn’t matter:

• age
• race
• salary requirements
• ”style” of offense or defense
• everybody knows we couldn’t get him